Welcome to Rio de Janeiro!

---Nothing works and Valentina is acting weird, but at least you get to compete!

It was a long flight and everyone was stuck in a plane with Valentina for the duration of it (my poor babies), so the team's spirits didn't look to be particularly high on arrival, but at least they made it.
And they could have flown to Rio, and get banned from competing straight away so there's that. The FIG is currently going thought the criteria given by the IOC, trying to establish the "clean" status of the gymnasts, hopefully everyone will get cleared soon.

The real problem however was that someone actually had the audacity to make Queen Aliya carry her own bags, what a travesty. She has back problems and wrist problems and god knows what else, someone help her.

*a sigh of relief*

No blanket ban. The governing bodies of each individual sport can decide whether or not their athletes are "clean", so now it's up to the FIG. They haven't made any official decisions yet, but their previous statements about the issue have been against the blanket ban and in support of their gymnasts, so we can expect them to let the Russian gymnasts compete. Like some anon said earlier today, let's drink to that! Будем здоровы!

Other good news: I'm finally back home with my computer and don't have to post out of bad mobile app that takes forever and doesn't even let me do anything. Yay!

Team USA is still at Marta's Death Camp, but the rest of the Big 4 (or what's left of it after Romania self-destructed) is on the move. The Russian team took off for Rio yesterday (or today?) and Team China flew to São Paulo yesterday to begin the final stages of training (unfortunately they had to leave my Chinese favorite, Liu Tingting, home because of an injury). The Brits are being weird, not at all their usual happy self and are instead causing scandals. Secretive and questionable team selections and money management, what even.... The board is now set and the players are taking their starting positions. Let the games begin. The Games. The Olympic Games.

I'm not one of those people who think that London was only yesterday (it was forever ago), but Rio is still here too soon. I'm not ready. And I feel like neither are the Russians. But guess who is ready? Team Brazil. They have been upgrading like crazy and look really, really good. I never thought I'd be a huge fan of Aleksandr Aleksandrov, but you can't deny the results. It's going to be interesting comparing the Russian success in Rio to that of London. Aleksandrov was fired because the team had bad results in London (LOL, sure he was...) and we know that the Rods are going to pass off anything that happens in Rio as good. We'll see how good for the Rodionenkos compare to bad for Aleksandrov. Naturally I wish the best success for the team and want them to do amazing, but I have a nagging feeling that there are going to be disappointments ahead.

Good Luck My Tsaritsa!

We are going to hear from IOC tomorrow. I don't even feel nervous, because the Olympics without Russian gymnastics is something I can't even imagine. It just can't happen, won't happen.

The team is as hopeful (or as in denial) as I am, because they took off to Rio today. Queen Aliya left the following message on her instagram.

"Seems like just yesterday it was 200 days, then 100, and now... Today we fly to Rio, and I hope that everything will be alright. Scream for us, cheer for us and worry with us! It's going to be very, very difficult, and we can't do it without you! God bless."

Yeah, I totally butchered that translation, sorry. I'll have my computer back tomorrow and I can hopefully write something more substantial then. As My Tsaritsa said, good luck, с богом! May tomorrow bring good news...

So Much Drama

I don't have a computer before next week so I can't make any fancy posts, but I thought I should do some sort of update with so much going on recently. As you probably know, the entire Russian Olympic Team is on the verge of getting banned after WADA's incriminating findings. I obviously want the gymnastics team to go and as they weren't involved with the scandal, it would be unfair to hold them back. The same with other athletes not involved. But every time I read anything from the Russian press, I start seeing red. They just want to sweep everything under the rug and not only that, but they think they deserve to have everything swept under the rug. This is all blown out of proportions and they've fixed the problem. Just no. Guess what, if you fuck with the rules, the rules are going to fuck with you. And you deserve to be punished. You have systematically shat on the rules so deal with it. You're going to pay for it and you should take it humbly.

Sorry for that rant. It's just, ugh. Just grow the fuck up and take responsibility for your actions. If you lose the trust, you don't get it back until you've proven to be worth it.

There's still nothing definitive, but it looks like the "blanket ban" won't happen. In that case the final decision is left for the international sports federations, for gymnasts, FIG. The FIG has been very supportive of the Russian gymnasts throughout this, so it would mean they get to go.

But now, from plain old boring Russian sports drama, let's step it up to Russian gymnastics drama!

The final (aka latest team #9782) team was announced: Aliya, Beefarm, Seda, Melka and Spiridoz with alternates Kapi and Afan. For an entire two seconds (wow) it remained the same and then we were hit with a bunch of unconfirmed rumors. Afan is sick, Melka is injured and out, the world is ending etc. Nothing out of the ordinary for Russia. And you know what comes next: Valentina making a dramatic but untrue announcement. She did that exactly and told the press that Afan had succumbed to her injuries and retired.

Now that's terrible news, but don't worry, Afan already personally announced on VK that she has kidney stones, is at the hospital and had an operation to insert an ureteral stent. So she's definitely out of Rio, but she also said nothing of retirement. As only a few months ago she was talking about taking a short break and coming back for Tokyo, I find a retirement because of kidney stones hard to believe. Although she should check on her nutrition, she had a kidney infection only less than a year ago... And BTW, Afan's alternate spot is going to Shelgie. Good, she deserves it.

But what did he MEAN?

Andrei Rodionenko, the head of Russian artistic gymnastics gave an interview and made sure to remind us that the current team isn't final. They're still waiting to see what Afan has to show. 

So my question is... Why is it that poor Princess Tut never actually makes the team? She is always on the verge of making a team, either waiting for someone else to magically heal or being an alternate/team member/alternate again with 3 other girls. I can't imagine this helping her already questionable mental game at the competition.

I swear this post was supposed to be a semi-legitimate translation of this interview with Andrei Rodionenko. But it was just more fun translating what he meant to say, instead of what he said. So here you go.

How difficult was it for you to choose the composition of the Olympic team and what role did the Russian Cup play in it? 

What Andrei said: This team composition is only nominative and there may be changes. There are gymnasts who are not yet ready after an injury, so it's premature to talk about the final composition of the team.

What Andrei meant: lol. Why would you think that we even have a team. Everyone is injured. Aliya is our Queen and she will make the team if she can walk (with crutches) but no one else is in the team until we announce it 2 seconds before the competition begins. It is the Russian way. Don't question it.

Viktoria Komova vs. Phoebe Buffay

Vika, My Princessa returned to her home gym in Voronezh (How pretty is that gym? I keep admiring it every time they show it. So much light and air...) before the Russian Cup and answered some questions about her current injury and future in gymnastics. I seriously feel like she's me in another life. A perfectionist who fails because of their perfectionism. A perfectionist who has achieved a lot but is proud of none of it, because it wasn't enough. Because a lot to someone else meant nothing for them, because they think they were capable of so much more. Anyone else belong to this particular miserable club of people who are both under- and overachievers at the same time? Just me and Vika? Okay then. We'll let the rest of you continue your happy life.

Sorry about that rant, I lied. We won't let you continue your happy lives, because first, Viktoria Komova needs to break your heart just a little bit.

Let's Upgrade Moscow Nights to Rio Days

We still don't know exactly what Aliya Mustafina is going to do on floor and it really bothers me, so I thought I'd speculate just a bit. I actually ended up making several different routines for her, some very realistic and some not so much (6.9!!! IT COULD HAPPEN, RIGHT?!?) and I was quite relieved to find out that even some small improvements would lift her start value and hopefully get her out of the rut she's in right now. And boy, do we need her out of that rut. We need someone to make a good impression after Seda and Melka have both fallen on wolf turns.

However, after trying to imagine a legitimate floor routine that would both score well and not kill her, I got tired and sidetracked (as usual) and started to upgrade her other routines as well. It's really close to the Olympics and Russia has been really conservative this quad, so I doubt that she's going to have any new upgrades at this point, but let me dream. And she is Aliya, so she might surprise.

My Bad Stats about the Russian Olympic Team

Now that the Russian Cup is over, we have a slightly better picture of the Olympic Team. We know who they are, we know their routines and how well they can perform them. Unfortunately, we also know how badly they can do occasionally. As of now, the team is Aliya Mustafina, Angelina Melnikova, Maria Paseka, Daria Spiridonova and Seda Tutkhalyan. The alternates are Natalia Kapitonova, Ksenia Afanasyeva and Lilia Akhaimova.

Let me just be happy for a few seconds about my Princess Tut making the team! She made the team! I still don't know why I like her so much, but I do. And I'm so happy!

Thank you for those few seconds, now we can move on. I made these super fancy tables with some scores from this team. I tried to work out something nicer with Photoshop, but soon gave up and returned to the good old Word. Of course I also forgot the red underlining ruining those precious Russian names, sorry for that.

Difficulty Scores of Team Russia

Bold scores are meant for team final, so the line-ups are:

• VT: (Tutkhalyan), Melnikova, Mustafina, Paseka
• UB: (Tutkhalyan), Melnikova, Mustafina, Spiridonova
• BB: (Spiridonova), Melnikova, Tutkhalyan, Mustafina
• FX: Melnikova, Tutkhalyan, Mustafina

Russian Cup 2016: Event Finals

The Periscope streams we had were terrible and mostly focusing on the men, so I can't really write much about the event finals. Click read more for my short recap of the events.

But more importantly, Andrei Rodionenko announced the Olympic team (yes, again, this the 100th team probably) after the event finals, and it's currently:

• Aliya Mustafina
• Angelina Melnikova
• Maria Paseka
• Daria Spiridonova
• Seda Tutkhalyan
• Alts: Kapitonova, Afanasyeva, Akhaimova

-----

Here are the event final medalists: 

Vault

1. Maria Paseka 14.867     

2. Seda Tutkhalyan 14.734

3. Tatiana Nabieva 14.234 

Uneven Bars

1. Natalia Kapitonova 15.333  

2. Angelina Melnikova 15.033

3. Daria Spiridonova 14.933    

Balance Beam

1. Angelina Melnikova 15.400

2. Seda Tutkhalyan 13.967      

3. Evgenia Shelgunova 13.867

Floor Exercise

1. Lilia Akhaimova 14.367      

2. Natalia Kapitonova 13.867  

3. Angelina Melnikova 13.733

Russian Cup 2016: A Better Day

I actually wrote this yesterday right after the competition and then forgot to publish it, whoops. So that's why I keep using today and yesterday wrong. Forgive me.
-----
Today was the Day 2 of all around, with yesterday's scores coming back to haunt everyone. Good thing everyone had equally bad day yesterday, and equally good day today (except for Aliya), so no one suffered too much from yesterday's disaster.

We also got an explanation to that uneven bars fiasco yesterday. Apparently the team has changed their equipment to a new brand and model to match the equipment in Rio (Gymnova if I remember correctly). This particular UB set not only differed from their usual set, but was not "broken in" and had a different fool to it because of that. At least that's what they're saying. I'd think the girls were used to adapting fast to new equipment, but maybe this brand is just very different. Hopefully they get used to it before leaving for Rio. Today most of the girls actually hit their routines, but Aliya was still having difficulties. Since she's the most experienced gymnast, you'd think that it was the other was around, but since she also has nothing to prove, she just didn't want to keep fighting when it didn't feel right. Hopefully it's that instead of those old nagging injuries presenting themselves.

And one more thing about yesterday. If you were wondering like me why most of the national team showed up to a team competition wearing whatever they wanted, I have no answer to that. But I can say that their respective teams were deducted for it on their scores, oops. :D So let's thank Natalia Kapitonova for following the dress code and not costing for her team because of it.

But onto today's competition. Melka owned it, as expected of her. I really wasn't a fan of her when she was a junior, but she's blossomed into a beautiful gymnast and excellent all arounder, how could I not like her. Princess Tut had an impressive performance too for a silver medal and Aliya climbed up from her 5th spot to third. That needed to happen. Shelgie was right at her heels....

1: Angelina Melnikova 117.150 (57.625/59.525) 

2. Seda Tutkhalyan      116.150 (57.075/59.075)  

3. Aliya Mustafina   112.800 (54.900/57.900)