Euros 2016: TOO MANY FEELS

I'm writing this while watching the US Secret Classic live, so sorry in advance for any incoherence. I'm always incoherent (English is not my first (or even second) language and I resent proof reading), but today I might be even more so than usual. It has nothing to do with the bottle of wine I drank in order to get through balance beam and floor. NOTHING!

But let me tell you about that wine. I thought the competition was going to begin later like yesterday, but it didn't. So I noticed 13 minutes before the competition was about to begin that I had 13 minutes to go and find some alcohol. I was in my comfy unitard pajamas, because Saturday, ya know, so I threw on some clothes, put my hair in a tight bun, no time for brushing, searched for my keys and stormed out with ten minutes to the start of the competition. And I made it back in 8 minutes! That must be a record or something. There were 2 people in the line in front of me at the liquor store but I was patient and I waited and the cashier had trouble with my ID (a passport from when I was 16 lol) and I still made it! Amazing.

So I basically gave the European Championships team title to GB earlier, but that was incredibly stupid of me. Because as I've been telling you, for Mother Russia, bad qualification equals good results. I also posted this on my tumblr before the competition even began:

I have strong evidence that the Russians are going to be European Champions. Today I decided to treat myself to some terribly over-priced non-coffee and walked into a Starbucks. They took my order and asked me to repeat my name twice, like usual. What was unusual, was that when I picked up my coffee, I noticed that THEY GOT MY NAME RIGHT. Yes. Do you know the last time that happened? In 2010. Do you know something else that last time happened in 2010? The Russians winning European Championships. Strong. Evidence.

That is inductive logic at its finest and it held up. IT HELD UP! Russia won with a lot of points to spare. Sorry for yelling "I told you so" again, I'm obnoxious, I know. And there's even something that I didn't mention in that post: in 2010 when Starbucks got my name right, I was in Switzerland! It wasn't in Bern, though, it was in Zurich. They actually asked me how to spell my name and got it right. Amazing. When I was in New York in 2014, they also asked me how to spell my name and still got it wrong! So no gold for Russia in 2014.

But let's begin.


Russia was the second qualifier and it meant that they were following the usual rotation order, but instead of alternating, they started on on every apparatus while GB had the advantage of finishing. Russia started strongly on vault. Melka did her usual DTY which made my eyes hurt when they showed it in slow motion. Whatever was going on the air didn't matter however, because she had a good landing. Seda went next and did her usual vault, but instead of bouncing backwards, she bounced upwards and was rewarded for that in her score, 14.966, the best vault score for the Russians. Afan vaulted with Aliya praying in the background and landed low in what looked like a painful landing for her fragile ankles. She survived however, and got a good score of 14.916. A true pro. Ruby and Claudia vaulted their usual vaults with questionable form, but Ellie brought out the beauty with a DTY worth 15.100. I need her to get an Amanar already. She's too good for that vault. They finished 0.116 behind the Russians.

Uneven bars was where Russia needed to take all the points they could get and they sure did. Melka did her usual set (lol at Giulia having an execution score only 2 tenths less than Melka, she had leg separations on almost every skill and super late pirouettes), but Spiridoz came back with a vengeance, like I hoped she would. She did her usual routine for a huge score of 15.366. Thank you! This is what she was brought here to do. Aliya continued the streak with 15.333 and the Russians finished with .867 better than in qualifying. That was exactly what they needed to keep GB of their tracks. And about GB... This is unfortunately where they began their mistakes. Ruby went first and came off fast. Gabby and Becky both hit their sets well, but it wasn't enough to make up for the difference Russia made with their signature apparatus. GB was over 3 points behind Russia.

With beam the next, it was anyone's guess who would come out on the top. Melka started well with a steady routine worth 14.800. She has learned to finish her wolf turn properly, which is very much appreciated by me. Seda went next bringing on the drama with her layout full. I really don't know what to do with her. She's a headcase, but I love her! I'd take her to Rio just to fuck up because there's a 0.7934872 % chance she'll hit. I'm that desperate. 13.633 is still enough to beat Kapi. Gabby did well again, but Claudia fell on her incredibly difficult routine. She usually does a good job saving it, but the bad form just isn't worth it. She got 13.266. Becky sealed the deal by falling twice and giving the most heartbreaking face when she saw her score (12.533). It was worse than seeing Seda.

Melka went first on floor and got the best score out of the Russians. It was 14.133 and that just tells you a lot about the Russian situation on floor. Seda was mad after beam and had 3 potentially bad landings, but did an admirable job saving them and got rewarded with a 14.000. Thank you my love! (The commentators from my country are shitting on Seda's artistry, FU) Aliya finished with a great routine, which just means that she didn't die. She survived her tumbling, rolled her eyes at failing some turns and gave a performance that made us ignore those flaws. She only got 13.466(.3 for OOB), but who cares, the GB needed to average 16.033 on floor to beat the Russians and only way they could do that, was having Simone do all 3 routines. They weren't too upset about losing and gave an amazing showing with 3 great floor routines outscoring Russia on floor easily. France was a surprise bronze medalist with great bar routines. They had a tough time in qualification, but came back strong.

I really enjoyed watching the competition. The audience was just amazing rooting for everyone and we got to see France rising up from the hole they had dug themselves into and Catalina Ponor back leading her country with amazing performances.

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Results:
1. Russia - 175.212
2. Great Britain - 170.312
3. France - 168.496
4. Switzerland - 165.721
5. Italy - 165.571
6. Romania - 164.596
7. Germany - 163.829
8. Hungary - 162.762
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LINKS:
Full competition can be viewed HERE.
Full results are HERE.